My brother passed away – why aren’t I dreaming of him?

This has been a difficult week for me and my family.  While back in New York City celebrating my mother’s 75th birthday, my brother, sister and I gathered to put together an evening of what would amount to some of her favorite things: the opera (I am a 3rd generation Met subscriber), good food (does anyone NOT like good food?) and having her three children together at the same time.  Since the oldest son lived in Albany and the youngest moved to California, this is not always an easy feat.

Just twenty-four hours after this truly delightful evening of celebration, my brother returned to his Albany home, slid onto his couch to watch some football and went to sleep that night and never work up.  He died two weeks shy of his fiftieth birthday.

I share this with you here because this blog is ultimately about dreams.  Your dreams, my dreams, friends dreams.  And dreams are intensely personal.  There is no way to share about my dreaming experience without bringing to the process my life laid bare.  So here we have it; my brother has died suddenly and unexpectedly and I am craving some dreams that will help me feel connected either to him directly, or at least to the psychic process of grief and loss.

So far – nothing.  Of course, my sleep has not been very deep or satisfying and that may have something to do with it.  And I assure, I will post about any dreams I do wind up having the moment they appear.

Meanwhile, I went to the dream dictionary in my up coming book, Dream Sight and decided to share the term “Siblings” with you here.


Universal Landscape:  Character aspects related to waking-life siblings.

Dreaming Lens:  Were you dreaming of your own brother(s) or sister(s)?  Do you have siblings in waking life or were these dream characters?  Were the siblings in your dream related to each other but not to you?

Personal Focus:  All people in dreams relate to some aspect of your own personality.  If you dream of your actual brothers or sisters from your life, the character aspects that they represent as part of your psyche should be investigated in the same manner as any person known to you who appears in a dream.

However, because of the powerful dynamic of family systems, the relationships between siblings will connect to various roles each member of the group often find themselves locked into.  When a sibling appears in a dream, there is a great deal of complexity to explore; from your current relationship, to your childhood history and even how parenting styles impacted each family member.

With careful and unbiased investigation, a sibling dream can offer a penetrating snapshot of where you are in your development as an individual, separate from the limitations of your personal history.

If there is little or no complication associated with the sibling you dream of, treat the interpretation process the same as with any cast member in a dream using the character aspect technique.  If you have no brothers or sisters in waking life, the character aspect of one appearing in your dream will be based primarily on the context in the Dreaming Lens.