Why do I always dream my husband is cheating on me?

Why do I always dream my husband is cheating on me?  It is one of the most frequently asked questions and is usually accompanied by a bit of anxiety on the behalf of the one asking.  And it’s not just the husbands out there; plenty of wives are cheating in dream land as well.

Having an affair is the ultimate betrayal and the cause of great fear amongst all sorts of couples.  It is natural to have some measure of insecurity within a relationship and the idea that your partner might step out on you is this fear taken to its furthest manifestation.  Your primary relationship may or may not be subject to an actual affair, but in the language of symbolism, this dream has little to do with infidelity and a lot to do with getting your needs met.

Asking for what you need in a relationship is tough work.  Wishing that you partner could read your mind is common – in fact many people expect that their partners can and should be able to know what to do in any given situation and may punish each other when this does not occur.  A dream of cheating may be pointing to a moment in your primary relationship when you may not feel like your needs are being met.

Below is an excerpt from Dream Sight; the term Infidelity/Affair.

Infidelity/Affair:  A circuitous route to meeting needs.  Avoidance.

There is no intimacy need that cannot be met in a primary relationship.  Going outside of a marriage or partnership for sex or affection is a way of meeting a primal need by a roundabout way.  Simultaneously, there is an avoidance of some underlying problem that is not being addressed.  Therefore this image represents both a circuitous route to connection and avoidance of confrontation.

If you discover an infidelity in a dream, you may want to consider areas in your life where you are avoiding taking care of your self.  If you are engaged in an affair, you might need to examine your life circumstances for signs of being manipulative or indirect in getting your needs met.  As getting caught is always reflective of an unconscious desire to effect a change, being discovered as being unfaithful could indicate a desire to shift some area of your life.

Always be willing to look at issues of responsibility when this dream image appears: where in your life are you not allowing yourself to be accountable for your actions?  If the dream involves details of constructing an affair, you may want to examine how genuine you are being in terms of expressing and manifesting your desires in life, both relationally and otherwise.  Where in your life are you being authentic?  How might you be betraying your own needs?

It is safe to assume that this image in a dream indicates a theme of intimacy issues in your waking life, no matter what the marital state of the dreamer.  This may have literal implications if you are actually involved in an affair or believe your partner to be.

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15 Responses to Why do I always dream my husband is cheating on me?

  1. Yvonne January 31, 2013 at 2:19 pm #

    Please help understand my dreams of my husband cheating on me..He has done it twice and I have forgiven him but I cant get over it..

  2. mlennox January 31, 2013 at 6:01 pm #

    This is a VERY common dream. And it is your dream, not your husbands, so it is all about you. Cheating is a round about way of getting intimacy needs met. So if you are dreaming about your husband cheating, you might want to take a look at the ways in which you may not be expressing what you desire in your life directly. This may be about issues in your marriage, but it could be in any area of your life, work, friendships, other relationships, where you are not asking for what you need directly. Ask, and you shall receive!!

  3. Justina March 1, 2013 at 3:26 am #

    why do i always dream my husband cbeating on me with his ex that ive known hes never chdated but sumtimes hes out real late he dont answer his phone and there has been tiimes where he dont get home please help me i cant trust hiim!!!

  4. omar September 19, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    throughout my 13 years of being in a relationship I have (from time to time) dreamed that my girl (would rather say wife) is in the atmosphere of heavily flirting with another man. The men that are in question are indeed men that I have an uncomfort with or whom she has been with in the past. I keep in mind that I myself have cheated numerous amount of times in the past but have been true to myself on all fronts that a man can be tempted (looking at other women, inappropriate images on computer exc.) I don’t want to condemn my children’s mother (if I may), just want to know if it’s my subconscious informing me of something or if its just do to an insecurity.

  5. Kris April 26, 2014 at 1:12 pm #

    I had a dream that I caught my husband cheating on me with his sister, but in my dream his sister was my boss. In my dream I tried to tell his siblings but no one believed me. We ended up getting in a physical fight when I confronted him in my dream.

    This is really stressing me out.

  6. ruthanne August 20, 2014 at 4:20 pm #

    I been married for 23 years and about a year ago I found out my husband was cheating with a lot of younger woman’s then me and cant trust him please help me .Also I always dream that my husband is cheating on me .

  7. Maria Zamora October 21, 2014 at 6:22 pm #

    Almost every day I dream that my husband is cheating. I wake up feeling nervous.. It’s been going on for a while. What does this mean? I have never cheated on my husband. So therefore I’m a good wife.. We’ve been together for 15 years. And have four beautiful boys. It has not crossed my mind of cheating on him.

  8. Anastasia Quainoo February 22, 2015 at 3:40 pm #

    What do I do about this dream,because in my real life I think I have a good husband.

  9. jesamy ilagan November 3, 2015 at 7:22 am #

    This day, Nov 3 of 2015. I just dont know why I just feel sleepy all day, and whenever I dream, I dream that my husband flirts with other girls and he’s not listening to me when I got angry, he keeps on doing it while I am aware of it. What does this mean? I have a full time night shift job at home since I am the one responsible to look after our daughter while he’s working outside. And I know to myself that I am too tired of everything and I cant let him go just because he’s the father of my daughter. I hate the fact.

  10. Sunday September 8, 2016 at 8:15 am #

    I always have dreams(nightmares) that MY boyfriend is cheating on me with his ex!! I just woke up pissed cause i had another one..sum1 tell me what it means

  11. Lisa October 21, 2016 at 9:48 pm #

    I’m a newlywed and I’ve dreamt about my husband cheating on me more than 4 times. This scares me. I feel it’s because before we got married, I found out he was flirting with 2 girls from our church. He confessed to visiting one and allowing the other one to sleep at his place. But he says he never slept with either of them. We were still engaged then. Now that we’re married, I dream about him cheating quite a lot. The first time it happened, I cried the next morning and he comforted me and assured me he would never cheat on me. Now whenever I have these dreams I don’t tell him about it.

  12. Maz November 9, 2016 at 8:43 pm #

    I am having dreams most nights that I am going through my boyfriends phone and I find pictures of women in their underwear.
    I pack his bags and throw him out.

    I do have BIG trust issues, my boyfriend understands and has never given me any reason to dout him, i know what’s on his phone so why am I having these dreams? am I being paranoid or is he just good at hiding things…

    its exhausting and it puts me in a right bad mood I already suffer from bipolar and it doesn’t help.

  13. Allana gill November 12, 2016 at 1:03 pm #

    What does it mean

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  15. Anne December 2, 2016 at 2:37 pm #

    Everytime i dream of my husband hes always cheating with different women. Every single dream of him. Its always different women, some i know and some i dont. When i catch him in my dream he just continues on with what they r doing. It doesnt matter if i am heart broken and crying or angry or confused they just continue with it. The answer for me, i think, is b3cause in real life my husband is selfish in bed. I am always coming onto him and making moves, but its never him advancing toward me. He doesnt touch me in places either. He doesnt do the things i know i like in bed, but the results r always the same. He has an orgasm and i never do. Ive done everything from shaving, cleansing, cute outfits, oils, i mean everything to change myself to make him want to do more or put more into my needs but he never does. I think my dreams come from low self esteem because of this and feeling unwanted sexually or not worth the time to please me.